It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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