at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm always down for nudity.
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