i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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