soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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