big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
