Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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