I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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