You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
