I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
