I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize