I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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