You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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