there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
