the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You can't special order awesome
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
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hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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