How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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