my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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