I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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