I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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