I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
