Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if only i could text you this smell
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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