i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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