This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
