ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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