I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
