i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
