I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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