Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
