I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
