I wanna bring you to show and tell
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
