I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
