i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
