I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm passing your future prison.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
