"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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