what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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