Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
