this just has baby written all over it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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