What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
