If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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