If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she smelled like a LAN party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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