I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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