Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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