I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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