Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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