She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
organizing the empties. That sober.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
