Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
this hospital has no fireball
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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