Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
