So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
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my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
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I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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