I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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