After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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