So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
