yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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