i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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