none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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