That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
