try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
