Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
