I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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