i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
