I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
