bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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