I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
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It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize