turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
