omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
