You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
