I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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